You don't need fixing.
You need unlearning.
Coaching for people coming out later in life, leaving a religion, or rebuilding after a life that stopped fitting. In Asheville, NC and online.
Texts go to my own phone and I answer them myself, usually the same day. Nothing on your screen says Feral Self. Sessions are $125. The intro call is free.
If you've been carrying this
for a while, you're in the right place.
Most people who find their way here are somewhere in the middle of something. A transition they didn't fully choose. A version of themselves that no longer fits.
You're not lost. You just stopped lying to yourself about where you are.
I've lived what
brings you here.
I'm Johann. I grew up in South Africa, under the last gasping breaths of apartheid, inside a Christian Nationalist community with a very clear picture of who you were supposed to be. I am queer and bisexual. That picture didn't include me. I got good at performing the version of myself that kept things quiet, which is one way to survive childhood and a very slow way to lose yourself.
Some of the unlearning was uncomfortable. The racism that was ambient in the culture I grew up in, absorbed without asking and examined deliberately later. The beliefs that felt like facts until I looked at them. The version of strength I inherited that turned out to mostly be about not needing anything.
I spent two decades in software engineering. Fifteen of those running my own consulting business. Turns out I was coaching people the whole time. The technical problems were rarely the hard part. The hard part was always people: how they work together, where they get stuck.
Staff, colleagues, direct reports. Someone coming out at work and not knowing who was safe. Someone's marriage falling apart mid-project. A career crisis dressed up as a performance problem. I wasn't their therapist, but I was often the person they came to. I took that seriously. Debugging people, essentially.
I moved to the United States as an adult. Tried building the life the script back home called for. Some of it held. Some of it didn't. Loved in ways that didn't fit what I'd been handed. Lost close friends to suicide. Did my own religious deconstruction. Survived a few things that didn't come with a warning label.
I've been in therapy for most of the last twenty years. Not because something's wrong. Because I'm paying attention.
Coaching isn't therapy.
Here's the difference.
Therapy
Your therapist listens, reflects, and guides you toward your own conclusions. The restraint is by design. That's the method.
Coaching
I tell you what I'm seeing. If something doesn't add up, I'll say so. If you're circling something, I'll name it. You don't have to wait to hear me say it.
Both matter. A lot of my clients are in therapy alongside this. I ask direct questions and push back when something doesn't add up.
What clients say
"Johann doesn't let you bullshit yourself, and somehow that's the kindest thing anyone's ever done for me."
"Instrumental in unpacking and dismantling religious trauma I'd been carrying since childhood."
"The biggest thing I learned is that I am not bound by the shame that others have pushed upon me."
Names used with permission where provided.
Good questions.
I'm not out. Can I still contact you?
Who sees it if I text you?
Is this therapy?
Do I need to be in crisis to work with you?
Are you queer yourself?
What if I've never done coaching before?
Do we have to meet in person?
What's the difference between Core and Deep Work?
What's the cancellation policy?
What's a walk-and-talk session?
How do I know if I'm ready?
What we do together
I'm taking new clients. Everything starts with a conversation. From there, the work takes the shape it actually needs. No curriculum, no homework, no modules. Real sessions, honest work, for as long as it's useful.
Clarity Session
The first paid session. We get into the actual situation. Where you are, what's in the way, what the work needs to be. By the end, we both know what comes next.
$125
Most ongoing relationships start here.
Core Package
For when something specific needs to shift. Enough sessions to actually move something. Six sessions won't solve everything, and that's the point.
$750
Deep Work
For when you know there's more under the surface and you're ready to stay with it. Three months is long enough to go somewhere real.
$1,400
Packages are paid upfront.
Not sure which, or not ready for any of them? Text me and we'll figure it out.
Already talked to me? Pay for a Clarity Session, Core Package or Deep Work.
You don't need the right words yet.
Text me. One line is enough. Or book a free call if you'd rather talk first.
I read and answer my own messages, usually the same day, and nothing on your screen says Feral Self. In person in Asheville, NC and across Western North Carolina, video anywhere. New to the area? Here's a list of LGBTQ resources in Asheville and WNC.