Life Coaching · Asheville, NC

You don't need fixing. You need unlearning.

Feral is what the domesticated thing becomes when it finally gets out. There's a self underneath all of it that was never theirs to name. That's what we're working toward.

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Coming Out Religious Trauma Masculinity Relationships & Polyamory Life Transitions Identity Divorce Immigration Tech Addiction AI & What Comes Next

What clients say

Names used with permission where provided.

Who I Am

I've lived a version
of what brings you here.

Johann — Feral Self coach

I'm Johann. I grew up in South Africa, under the last gasping breaths of apartheid, inside a Christian Nationalist community with a very clear picture of who you were supposed to be. I am queer and bisexual. That picture didn't include me. I got good at performing the version of myself that kept things quiet, which is one way to survive childhood and a very slow way to lose yourself.

Some of the unlearning was uncomfortable. The racism that was ambient in the culture I grew up in, absorbed without asking and examined deliberately later. The beliefs that felt like facts until I looked at them. The version of strength I inherited that turned out to mostly be about not needing anything.

I spent two decades in software engineering. Fifteen of those running my own consulting business. Turns out I was coaching people the whole time. The technical problems were rarely the hard part. The hard part was always people: how they work together, where they get stuck.

Staff, colleagues, direct reports. Someone coming out at work and not knowing who was safe. Someone's marriage falling apart mid-project. A career crisis dressed up as a performance problem. I wasn't their therapist, but I was often the person they came to. I took that seriously. Debugging people, essentially.

I moved to the United States as an adult. Tried building the life the script back home called for. Some of it held. Some of it didn't. Loved in ways that didn't fit what I'd been handed. Lost close friends to suicide. Did my own religious deconstruction. Survived a few things that didn't come with a warning label.

On the training side: Gottman Method Level 1 with The Gottman Institute, QPR Gatekeeper, and Counseling on Access to Lethal Means through the Zero Suicide Institute. Coaching is a different tool from therapy. The training is for being competent when conversations go where they actually go.

I've been in therapy for most of the last twenty years. Not because something's wrong. Because I'm paying attention.

Who This Is For

If you've been carrying this for a while, you're in the right place.

Most people who find their way here are somewhere in the middle of something. A transition they didn't fully choose. A version of themselves that no longer fits.

You're not lost. You just stopped lying to yourself about where you are.

How It Works

Coaching isn't therapy.
Here's the difference.

Therapy

Your therapist listens, reflects, and guides you toward your own conclusions. The restraint is by design. That's the method.

Coaching

I tell you what I'm seeing. If something doesn't add up, I'll say so. If you're circling something, I'll name it. You don't have to wait to hear me say it.

Both matter. They're different tools. A lot of my clients are in therapy alongside this. I ask direct questions, push back when something doesn't add up, and won't rush you toward comfortable. That's usually where the work is.

Map the territory

Figure out what's actually true. Where you are, what you're carrying, what you want. Not the story you've been telling — the real version. The intro call starts this. The clarity session goes deeper.

Excavate

Find what's in the way. Old patterns, inherited beliefs, the inner voice that sounds like caution but is actually fear. Actual limits vs. perceived ones. The blockers that look like circumstances but are running on something older.

Build

Do something with it. This part is loose on purpose — the work looks different for everyone. Some people need six sessions. Some stay for a year. We figure out what yours calls for and stay honest about whether it's working.

Not a sequence. More like the three things that tend to happen, in some order, on some timeline.

Services

What we do together

Everything starts with a conversation. From there, the work takes the shape it actually needs. No curriculum, no homework, no modules. Real sessions, honest work, for as long as it's useful.

First working session

Clarity Session

90 minutes

The first paid session. We get into the actual situation. Where you are, what's in the way, what the work needs to be. By the end, we both know what comes next.

$125

Most ongoing relationships start here.

Pay now

Most common

Core Package

6 sessions  ·  Weekly  ·  6 weeks

For when something specific needs to shift. Enough sessions to actually move something. Six sessions won't solve everything, and that's the point.

$750

$125 per session

Pay now

Go deep

Deep Work

12 sessions  ·  Weekly  ·  3 months

For when you know there's more under the surface and you're ready to stay with it. Three months is long enough to go somewhere real.

$1,400

$117 per session

Pay now

Packages paid upfront. In-person or video. Walk-and-talk available.

"What they called your problem was actually your nature."

FAQ

Good questions.

Is this therapy?
No. I'm a coach, not a therapist. Coaching is forward-facing: where you want to go, what's in the way. Therapy does work I'm not qualified to do, and I'll tell you if I think that's what you need. A lot of my clients do both. I've done formal training: Gottman Method Level 1, QPR Gatekeeper, Counseling on Access to Lethal Means. For being competent when conversations go where they actually go. Knowing when to refer and when to hold.
Do I need to be in crisis to work with you?
No. Coaching works best when there's enough ground under your feet to push off from. That said, I have suicide prevention training, I've lost people I loved, and I won't panic if the conversation gets dark. If you're in crisis, reach out.
Are you queer yourself?
Yes. I've navigated my own identity and come out later in life. I'm not approaching this from the outside.
What if I've never done coaching before?
Most of my clients haven't. That's what the free Intro Call is for. 15 minutes, no commitment, no pitch. You come in, we talk, you see whether this makes sense. If it does, the Clarity Session is where the work starts.
Do we have to meet in person?
In-person and video are both available. Walk-and-talk sessions in the WNC mountains are their own thing. Use whatever works for you.
What's the difference between Core and Deep Work?
Duration. Core is six weeks. Right for a specific thing to work through. Deep Work is three months. Right for someone who knows there's more under the surface. We figure out which one at the end of the Clarity Session.
What's the cancellation policy?
24 hours notice to cancel or reschedule a session. Packages are paid upfront and non-refundable. I hold that time for you.
What's a walk-and-talk session?
Exactly what it sounds like. We work while we walk. In the WNC mountains, on trails around Asheville. Moving your body does something to the conversation that sitting across from someone can't. A lot of people find it easier to say hard things when they're not staring at a wall. More about walk-and-talk sessions.
How do I know if I'm ready?
You're reading a website for a coach called Feral Self. You're probably more ready than you think.

Where We Work

Asheville and the surrounding mountains.

Based in Asheville. In person across the surrounding mountains: Black Mountain, Weaverville, Hendersonville, Brevard, Waynesville, and further out when it makes sense. Video available everywhere.

What's next.

You already know what you need to do.

Start with a free intro call. No commitment, no pitch. Or send an email if something's on your mind. I read my own email.

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